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I’m heading back to austin from philly now… in the airport as I write this on what will probably be my last work trip for a while.

My travel stint ends on Feb. 20th and unless I volunteer for more trips (which I will for a few) I’m officially done with travel on that day. Its a good feeling. Spending the majority of the last 6 months on the road has worn me down a lot more than I thought it would have. I realized the last few weeks just how disconnected I had become from everything in austin.

The last few weeks in austin have been great though. God is doing some awesome stuff and building up a community thats real, seeking, and transparent. At the same time He’s been doing a lot in my life too and using the community to complement it. Not sure how to really explain it all other than to say that I feel more alive now than I can ever remember.

The last 24 hours have been pretty interesting. This trip was pretty laid back over all, everything went incredibly well, no issues with what we were deploying onsite… almost to the point of being spooky.

Yesterday I went to the art museum after we got done early onsite… it was awesome, its really cool to see how much art reflects culture of the time. It was interesting to see just how much the renassaince really did change. European paintings before the 1500′s that were there are almost always focused on Christ or some part of the passion. Paintings after that are more about people and individuals… the abrupt shift of focus is actually pretty bizarre.

On my way back I got some starbucks and as a result was still wired at 11 so I decided to run. I have meant to run to the art museum and do the whole up the rocky steps things every time I’ve been in philly but had yet to do it. So at 11 I went for a 3 mile run in downtown philly… it was great.

I got back and still was wired, didn’t get to sleep til about 1 and then woke back up at 3 at which point I checked on one final thing for the facility here from my hotel room… and of course, it had blown up, so at 5 am I was riding in a cab to the facility and missing my flight. All is well now, in fact better in someways, I caught it before it caused a problem on their end and found a problem on the customers end as well that I fixed and saved them a few hours of confusion for which they were so grateful they forgot about the problem on our end that I had to fix.

Whats even funnier to me is that b/c of the issue on their end I was able to cleanly fix the problem on our end. In fact if they hadn’t messed up on their end it would have been much much worse. Praise God, I have no idea how things would have turned out otherwise.

So in the last 24 hours I learned to be fascinated by art, ran 3 miles and did the rocky thing, missed my flight, and saved the day at work… now I’m flying back to austin for dnow and eventually a little sleep…. should be fun.

Whenever I change jobs… or get fired or something crazy… I’m not going to know what to do… I have been given all these cool gadgets and things I need to do my job, but now I’m completely spoiled by them. I use them almost constantly… even right now to right this. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them all… I mean I managed before, but after having and using them for a while it will be tough to go back.

Right now I’m in a car heading to JFK airport and thanks to my glorious employer, I can surf the web and such from the laptop they gave me while I’m sitting in traffic. Verizon and its awesome wireless card are due some credit too I suppose. I feel so ridiculous using this… not that its not awesome, but I would never personally pay for it and it seems so excessive. At the same time I know how many times its saved my butt, and how much work its let me get done on the road… all of which would impact the company if we didn’t use it.

All that aside… New York is stinkin awesome. This is one of the most amazing places in the world, but its a little strange because its a man made wonder. Its almost like humanities collective pride shouting out “look at how glorious I am”. I can’t help but be anything but amazed by this place, but at the same time wonder what sort of mindset and temperament of the soul produced it all.

So yeah… odd thing to think about I guess. I did end up taking a lot of pictures. By a lot I mean somewhere around 1800 to 2000 pictures. I’m spending the flight home STARTING on a best of list that I can give to the rest of the people that went, but thats prolly going to take a while.

I really miss home (austin) right now. It was great to come to New York, I even want to live here at somepoint if I get the chance, but I’ve only spent a few days in austin the in the last month and I’ve only slept in my own bed a handful of times since I moved in. I love to travel, but its really starting to take its toll, the next two weeks I must get some rest really feel at home for a while b/c January will be the craziest travel month yet and I might go crazy or just die of exhaustion if I don’t relax for at least a weekend.

My truck is dead now too… hit a bmw 645i from behind and it owned my truck. I was planning on getting a new car in Feb anyways, but not its happening next week when I get back from Christmas travels… Going to get a civic si sedan, should be pretty nice, not too expensive, but still fun which I like. Hopefully all will go well with that.

Heading back to Seymour tomorrow, then on to Dallas and back to Austin on the 26th or 27th.

Death Cab + New York = awesome
—-
If I Could Open My Arms
And Span The Length Of The Isle Of Manhattan
I’d Bring It To Where You Are
Making A Lake Of The East River And Hudson
If I Could Open My Mouth
Wide Enough For A Marching Band To March Out
They Would Make Your Name Sing
And Bend Through Alleys And Bounce Off all the Buildings

So I’m finally back in austin after a week in Dallas, thanksgiving, and 2 weeks in Philly… its been a long 4 weeks… flew by it seems, but still crazy to think its almost Christmas already.

I’ve had two days off here in austin since I got back from Philly… really 3 days b/c one was travel, but I got in early so the rest of the day wasn’t lost. Today I actually got board and thought about going into the office… not because I was needed there or anything, but simple b/c everyone I know is busy and I’d already run out of things to do… pretty sad I guess.

Its odd to think that I’ve been working for more than 6 months full time with only a few day long breaks… I’ve had weekends, but less than most people since I’ve worked through many of them on the road. Its finally vacation time for me, next week and this week was really vacation b/c I’ll have worked only two days this week after tomorrow, one day in Philly and one day in the office here in austin.

Whats crazy is I remember UT semesters being so long and always waiting and anticipating the break so I could relax and do nothing… now I have a vacation for the first time in 6 months after spending half of it in another state and its not that big of a deal… I’m excited about going to New York with my friends, but the time off isn’t really a big deal… for somereason this makes no sense to me. Guess it means I like what I’m doing for my job.

I’ve got lots of pictures from travels and home and more to come from NY so expect lots to be posted durring my vacation.

About a month ago I wasn’t too sure that my job was really were I was meant to be, that it was really were God wanted to use me, now thats pretty clear and I know I’m where I should be, so thanks to all of you who have been praying for that… I’m excited to see how He is going to use me and how He is going to teach me and mold me through the next couple of months.

January is going to be insane… I’ve been traveling a lot, but January will be rediculous. I already knew I was going to Chicago for a trade show, San Diego to see Nathan, Philly for a software release, and Charlotte, NC for another software release, but while I was in Philly my boss told me I’ll be doing a release in New Jersey as well during January… so that makes 5 states in one month…. I’m not sure how theres enough time… I might end up flying from one place to the next on some sort of nomadic transamerican quest… should be interesting, but its not going to be easy.

While all this is going on, life goes on in austin with all of my friends and one of the things I’ve realized over the last few months is that its very different to move away from all of your friends than to still be living in the same city and just never there… its hard to stay connected with people b/c your mind set is still in the mode of well I’ll see them at this or that when in reality its like you don’t even live there… thus far I’ve treated every trip like simply a short trip.

What I’m learning is I need to treat it as though I no longer live in austin… otherwise I’ll always be too disconnected from everything.

Time for sleep early, I’m going into the office tomorrow for a day then off for vacation… odd but it will be fun, happy hour at the office should be good with everyone in town after lots of travels.

well actually it already dead, the great tour of travel began last week with dallas… a week of work on site there… it was pretty long and rough… much more than i expected, but i learned a lot and got to know some of the guys i work with better… good times all in all.

Tomorrow morning I’m flying out at 6:45 for philly again, I’m somewhat excited about it, somewhat not. I’m excited about getting to dress warm and the possibility of snow there next week, the work won’t be overwhelming (shouldn’t be ), but at the same time I got kinda used to be in austin for a few weeks straight and feeling disconnected from everything again last week made me miss it a bit more than the last time I was gone.

On other fronts, thanksgiving was good, ended up having Eugene from Ukraine and Alex and Juice from Mexico all spending the night at the same time… we should start a hostel, it would be awesome… even give joe don a captive audience for trying out standup.

I was thinking yesterday about how I was a year ago… about the way I handle things at work and just in daily life and how much its changed… even from a few months ago. Its really bizarre… only a few years ago it seems like I had a hard time having a decent conversation with someone I’ve known for more than a year and now I find my self talking with random people in far off lands (i’ve always wanted to say that)

At the same time I feel like I’m not a giving and focused on others as I used to be… I feel like I don’t have time to help people sometimes when before I think I would have (notice all the I’s :-/). Then again I wonder how much of what I did was out of real concern for others and how much was out of wanting some sort of weird attention from them by helping them… I’m not saying either is why I did or do things… I honestly don’t know.

I just pray that I’m always willing to take time for those in need around me no matter how I feel or what my day has been like or how much time I “feel” like I have to help them.

I used to think no one really listened to what I said or the advice I gave… I know different now and I try to be very careful with my words and my advice and be very intentional and caring about what I say…. While I wasn’t exactly a chatter mouth who offended all in sight before, I never really cared enough to really use it to make an impact in someones day, week, life.

All of this to say, I look at these things and I see circumstances and people in my life that brought about these changes, some were fun, most were not, and I realize how much out of my control it all has been and how blessed I am. God pulled me out of so much… so much more than I realized I was in until recently, and all the time I was running from Him and the responsibilities I had been placed in by His providence, He never stopped chasing me and ultimately used my mistakes and my failures for my own good….

How awesome is He?? He has taken the darkest places in my life and used them to transform me and bless me in ways I never could have imagined and He has done the same for each and every person whether they recognize it or not…

All over the world and right next door people live without hope, hope for food, hope for life, hope for love and all around them God is raising up people of hope, people of peace, people of love to show them Himself, to point them to Him and a hope thats is so much more than anything in this world.

—
it happened then, it happens now
they let you in, they let you down
and its feels like, we cant get out
and it feels like, hell…

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer with my lungs full of smoke
i think im safer on the jet way,
than a world without hope

the day came in, the day went out
and not a bit of peace was spoken about
and it feels like, a suicidal world
and it feels like, hell…

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer if i run through the streets
i think im safer on the jetway,
than a world without peace

oh, my arms will stretch out when they’ve had enough
oh, when they’re tired of holding up us

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above,
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without..

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without love.

So I was thinking about where all I am going to be in the next two months and came up with a crazy long list… I don’t know how it ended up so crazy, but it has:

1.) This week, heading to Carrolton, TX (basically dallas) for work until thanksgiving.
2.) Traveling back to philly for a week or two for work, not sure exact dates, but I know its gonna happen
3.) New York for a week long vacation.
4.) Back to Seymour for a day or two for Christmas, then prolly Dallas and back to Austin.
5.) Feisty’s wedding in Houston.
6.) Chicago for Promat with work.
7.) The day after Chicago I might be going to San Deigo for the weekend.
8.) Charlotte, NC for work sometime in Jan.
9.) Possibly Bentonville, AR in the middle of all of this for work.

So bascially 9 cities and 6 states in the span of about two months which is ridiculous.

I like travel, so this is going to be fun, but none the less a bit insane as I hadn’t even flown until march of this year.

I found this on the calendar at the house… apparently my funeral has already been planned… go figure: